In today’s digital world, making new connections online, whether through dating apps, social media, or messaging platforms, has become second nature. While many of these interactions lead to genuine friendships or relationships, others can be far less sincere. Over the years, I have had my fair share of experiences with online scammers posing as potential romantic partners. These encounters taught me valuable lessons about recognizing red flags early, before emotions or money get involved.
My goal in sharing this is not to scare anyone away from online connections, but to empower you and the people you care about with practical awareness. If even one person avoids heartbreak or financial loss because of this article, it will have been worth writing.
Here are three key warning signs I have learned to watch for.
1. Too Smooth, Too Soon? Proceed with Caution
Genuine relationships, online or offline, take time to build. Early conversations often include awkward pauses, mismatched replies, or moments of uncertainty. That is normal.
But if a new match seems unusually attentive, overly affectionate, or perfect right from the start, complimenting you constantly, expressing deep interest within days, or acting like your emotional support system before even meeting you, that is a red flag. Scammers often use excessive flattery and manufactured empathy to build false trust quickly.
Stay open-minded, but stay observant. There is no need to accuse anyone outright. Just pay attention to whether their actions align with someone who is truly getting to know you, not just playing a role.
2. Check Their Social Media, Especially the Details
If you meet someone on Facebook or another platform that shows profile history, take a closer look. Scammers often create fake accounts designed to look authentic, but inconsistencies give them away.
For example, check the profile creation date. Under Facebook’s Profile Transparency section, visible on desktop and mobile, you can see when the account was created. This cannot be edited by user as it is a feature that Facebook implemented. If the profile is very recent, say just a few weeks or months old. This is suspicious.
Also look at their old posts/sharing. I once came across a profile created in early 2025, yet it showed shared posts dated as far back as 2015. Upon closer inspection, the original posts were actually published after the shared date, an impossibility. A small note beside the post revealed it had been added in May 2025.
Example:
Profile Created: March 2025
User Shared a Post Dated: January 2015
Original Post Published: April 2015
Next to the shared post, mouse over the small icon: “Added on May 2025.”
This is a clear sign of manipulation. The user is trying to make their profile appear older and more established by sharing content with backdated timestamps. However, the original post did not even exist in January 2015, it was published in April 2015 yet the scammer listed it as shared in January. The “Added on May 2025” label confirms the post was only recently added to the profile and the date is adjusted .
This tactic is often used by scammers to create a false sense of history and legitimacy. On Facebook, it is possible to adjust post dates when using a Page or Professional Mode, which allows users to make it seem as though they have been active for years even if the account is brand new. Always check these details carefully when evaluating someone’s online presence.
This is a common tactic. Scammers copy old photos and posts to fabricate a long-standing online presence. Always look beyond the surface. Check photo timestamps, friend lists, and interaction patterns. Real people have messy, inconsistent digital footprints. Scammers try, and often fail, to look too perfect.
3. Suggest a Real-Life Meetup and Watch Their Response
This is often the ultimate test. In all my encounters with suspected scammers, none ever agreed to meet in person, no matter how willing they seemed at first.
One time, after weeks of friendly messages and calls, I suggested meeting for coffee. The person enthusiastically agreed, and then vanished completely after our call. No explanation. No follow-up. Just silence.
Why? Because many scammers operate from overseas, using virtual or unregistered SIM cards, including eSIMs, to appear local. A Singapore number, for instance, does not mean the person is actually in Singapore. They can easily make voice or video calls via WhatsApp to seem credible, without ever stepping foot in your country.
If someone consistently avoids meeting, makes endless excuses, or suddenly disappears when you propose a physical meeting, it is a strong sign they are not who they claim to be.
Trust Yourself and Protect Your Heart and Wallet
Scammers are skilled manipulators. They study human emotions and exploit kindness, loneliness, and hope. Some of my conversations with them felt incredibly real, so real that it was hard to believe they were not genuine. But I made one rule for myself. I never move forward emotionally or financially until I have met the person in real life.
Your intuition is powerful. If something feels off, even if you cannot explain why, listen to that feeling. And above all, never send money to someone you have only met online, no matter how convincing their story or how urgent their request seems. Not even if they claim to be a friend in need.
Final Thought
Online connections can be beautiful, meaningful, and life-changing, but they also require wisdom and caution. By staying alert, asking questions, and verifying identities, you protect not just your finances, but your emotional well-being.
If you found this helpful, please share it with friends, family, or anyone who might benefit. Awareness is our best defense against deception.
Stay safe, stay kind, and never stop trusting your gut.